Real Women. Real Experiences. – Melanie B
Q: Tell me about yourself. Where are you from? How many kids to do you have?
A: My name is Melanie B, I am 32 years old and I live in Wisconsin with my husband and three children. I have two boys ages 7 (Talen) and 6 (Braxton) and one girl age 3 (Dawsyn.) I work at a Learning Center and get to have my kids come to work with me when they are not in school.
Q: How was your pregnancy? The good? The bad?
A: All three pregnancies were fairly easy. I never got morning sickness and felt pretty good the whole time. Would get migraines in the first trimesters and after that felt pretty great, except for the pregnancy tiredness! With my last pregnancy the only thing that happened was my daughter had a cyst on her brain that showed up on the ultrasound. I had never heard of that before since it didn’t happen with my other two. The doctors told me that this is pretty common and it usually goes away on its own. After a couple of weeks I had another ultrasound to check it and it was gone:) No other problems ever occurred during each pregnancy and I was very healthy during them all.
Q: How was your labor and delivery? Did you birth at home? Hospital? C-section?
A: Each labor and delivery were very different from each other. I birthed all three at the hospital. With my first one I had contractions all day long at home. It wasn't until the middle of the night they started to be closer together and we went in. The doctor broke my water and when she did that I thought I was going to have my baby very soon. That was not the case, I was in labor for 22 hours! I got an epidural and that went very smoothly, I didn’t feel a thing after that. I pushed for 2 straight hours. While pushing I was throwing up and I ended up pooping twice on the table! The doctors were so quick to get everything cleaned up and assured me it's so normal. My son got stuck behind my pelvic bone and was having a very hard time coming out. The last resort was to use forceps to get him out or I would have to have an emergency c-section. The doctor had to cut me as far as she could to get him out. Until that time I had no idea what forceps were. She was able to get him out with the forceps, but he came out face up instead of face down. They had to give him some puffs of air and get him some oxygen before I could hold him. Also, because of that my husband was not able to cut the umbilical cord. After he was breathing fine, I was able to hold him and he was a healthy 8lbs 6oz. I was fully prepared to have to push out my placenta, but since they cut me so far out it pretty much just fell out and she started to stitch me up. My second labor went so smoothly compared to my first. I was in labor for about 12 hours. I went in with contractions in the middle of the night and the doctor broke my water with him as well. I got an epidural, but only one side of my body was numb. I had to get some more pain medicine to help numb the other side. Once that worked I didn’t feel a thing. Once it was time to push I pushed for only 12 minutes and he was out! (and yes I pooped again!) My husband was able to cut the umbilical cord and I got to hold him on my chest right when he came out. He was also a healthy 8lbs 6oz. Again, I was fully prepared to push out the placenta, but it didn’t take much pushing and it came right out. With my third one I was induced. We decided on induction because I was just so ready and feeling very uncomfortable. It was four days earlier than my due date. Induction was a lot different than I thought it would be. After I was hooked up to an IV to help start the labor process it took hours before they could break my water. Once it was time for my epidural they didn’t hit the right spot and only one half of my body was numb again. They had to give me more Pitocin to help with the pain and once they did that I was immediately nauseous and felt like I was going to throw up. It still didn’t work and I could feel my contractions. They gave me some more after a while and the same feeling happened again. A little while later I ended up with back labor. I had no idea what was going on since it didn’t happen with the other two. The nurse told me that the baby was moving and she was laying on my spine. Since my legs were finally numb I couldn’t shift my body to get her to move off my spine. The nurse had to help me lay on my side and then I felt instant relief. It happened again later on and they did the same thing to help her move off my spine. Once it was time for me to push the nurse checked me and told me the baby’s head was right there and told me to try not to push until she got the doctor. The nurse assured me that she could deliver the baby if need be but the doctor made it to me in time. I pushed for a couple of minutes and she was out! (This time I asked my husband not to tell me if I pooped.) She was put right on my chest and that’s where she stayed for an hour. She was a healthy 8lbs 8oz. This time though, they had to pretty much reach in and help me deliver the placenta and it definitely hurt. Even though I was only in labor with her for about 8 hours I would not choose induction again if I decide to have another child.
Q: Describe your postpartum experience. Did you experience postpartum depression? Postpartum anxiety? Postpartum rage? Were you aware of these things postpartum?
A: I did not end up with any postpartum depression, anxiety, or rage. I was very aware of what can happen and made sure to be very honest with my doctor at my 6 week appointment if anything was going on.
Q: Did you breastfeed? If so, how did that go for you? If it was challenging, what were your challenges?
A: I did try to breastfeed with all three of my children. With my first one it was very challenging. I lasted only a month. Along with not knowing what I was doing, it was very hard for me to sit down after all of my stitches were in. I was very bruised and swollen from how far they had to cut me. It was hard to stand to get him to latch. He didn’t latch well so I was mostly pumping. In the first two weeks I ended up getting mastitis. It was so painful and I had a fever and the chills along with it. I was prescribed antibiotics, but chose to be done breastfeeding shortly after that. It was so stressful for me and I went through a rollercoaster of emotions. I was feeling like a bad mom since I felt like I was giving up and it seemed to be so easy for other moms to do. Since I kind of knew what to expect with my second one, I tried to breastfeed again. I lasted four months this time. I wasn’t able to produce enough. He also did not latch well so I was mostly pumping. It was a little bit easier the second time and when I knew I was getting a clogged duct I was able to unclog it before it turned into mastitis. Pumping was a lot of work physically and mentally. I had to plan my day around when I was going to pump. Since I wasn’t producing enough I tried to pump every two-three hours. Since he didn’t latch well I wanted to make sure we had some frozen just in case. At the end I was producing so little that it didn’t take much to dry up. After my third one was born I told myself I would give it a good try, but wouldn’t let myself feel bad if it didn’t work. I lasted 6 months with her. She latched on so well, but again I had a very hard time producing. I did so much research and tried everything to get my supply up. In the end I was proud how long I lasted and knew I gave it my all.
Q: Did you have any pregnancy cravings?
A: I mostly wanted sweets during my pregnancies. I didn’t really crave anything specific during any of my pregnancies.
Q: What’s something you never knew about until you were pregnant?
A: One thing that happened during my first pregnancy was that my eyes changed. I was having some problems with my eyes. I developed an astigmatism in one of my eyes. They said that can happen when you’re pregnant. I had no idea something like that could happen.
Q: What was something that surprised you about your postpartum journey?
A: One thing that surprised me postpartum was how truly amazing a woman's body can be. Even though I had stitches and I bled for a while after, I felt like my body healed quickly. In just 6 weeks I was able to do things I used to. (unless you had a c-section) I could exercise and get back to normal life.
Q: If there was a gift to give a new mom, what would it be?
A: A gift idea for a new mom would be to give her some alone time. Even if it’s 20 minutes for her to shower or just sit and be alone with her thoughts. Offer to watch the baby for a little bit or cook a meal so she doesn’t have to. It’s all the little things that will mean so much.
Q: If you could give a new mom some advice what would it be?
A: My biggest piece of advice is to not let anyone ever make you feel like you’re “doing it wrong.” I know it’s hard, but try not to compare. Of course you will at some point, but just remember that everyone parents different. Every child is different and that’s okay. Do what is best for you and your baby/family.