A New Dad’s Point of View – by DeVonte’ Majors
Q: Who are you and tell me a little about yourself?
A: Hi, my name is DeVonte’ and I am Madelaine’s husband and Maverick’s dad!
Q: What was it like when you first found out you and Madelaine were expecting?
A: When I first found out that Madelaine and I were expecting, there was a complete mix of emotions. Excitement, joy, surprised, nervousness and scared to name a few. At the time, Madelaine and I were at a point in our marriage where we knew we wanted to start trying to add to our family. I never expected it to happen as quickly as it did which was truly a blessing. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to have kids and finding out that I was going to be dad was one of the best days of my life. On the flip side, I’d be lying if I didn’t mention internally, I had an “oh shit” and “shits about to get real” moment a little while later. All your life you’re used to taking care of yourself and then you realize that you are now about to be responsible for another human being! How wild is that! Madelaine and I first met each other in 2011 and it’s always been just us over the last decade. I couldn’t help but to think “what is life going to be like now with this new addition to our family”. Nine months is going to fly by and our little one is going to be here before we know it. How do I/we prepare for that?
Q: What do you remember most about the pregnancy? What was something you enjoyed learning?
A: One of my favorite moments I remember most about the pregnancy was getting to hear Maverick’s heartbeat for the first time at the doctor’s visit. It was so cool to hear this tiny little dot on the ultrasound was alive in there and had a heartbeat! We had an at home baby heart rate monitor as well, so that was pretty cool to hear whenever we wanted to. Another favorite moment was getting to feel Maverick kick for the first time and then all the other times during the remainder of the pregnancy. Last, something that was really cool and enjoyable to learn was the different growth and development stages each week according to this app that Madelaine had on her phone. It would tell you “your baby is the size of a poppyseed or the size of a cantaloupe”. It would also tell us “your baby is starting to grow hands” or “your baby can now see light”.
Q: How did you know that you were ready to be a dad?
A: I’m not sure you ever really “know” if you’re ready to be a dad. I think being in a great place in your life helps, meaning your relationship is going well, professional life is going well, etc. In my case, those things were in order and it just felt like it was the next step in my life and our relationship that needed to be taken. Having a supportive partner also helps and reassured me that I was ready to be a dad and could be a great dad.
Q: What did you do to prepare to become a dad?
A: I don’t think you can ever really prepare to be a dad because there is so much that is unknown. I think there were a couple of things I did to prepare the best I could to become a dad. I was fortunate enough to have my dad in my life. I was able to reflect on some of the experiences I had growing up with my dad who set a great example of what a dad should be. I also took the time out to speak to him about fatherhood as well. I’ve also been fortunate enough to have a great father-in-law in my life and seeing/hearing a different perspective always helps as well. Speaking to close friends that have experienced fatherhood was a big help too. We also took a birthing class which was helpful to understand what would happen when the time comes.
Q: What was it like being able to see your baby on the ultrasound for the first time? Describe the feelings you had being able to attend doctors appointments.
A: Surreal! Seeing something that you and your partner created is just amazing and you can’t believe this is real, even though you can barely see anything haha! I was fortunate enough that I had flexibility with my career and was able to attend every appointment and support Madelaine. I didn’t want to miss a thing! Seeing our child get bigger and bigger after every appointment was just amazing to see and I couldn’t wait to eventually meet our little one.
Q: What did you do to help Madelaine during labor and delivery? What advice would you give to future dad’s to help their partners during that time?
A: During the labor and delivery process, I let Madelaine squeeze my hand pretty much until it was broken before she got her epidural haha. I was her support system for as much as I could be. As a dad, you kind of feel helpless because there’s so much support in the room for Madelaine from people that are professionals in this field and have done this a million times. All I could do was reassure Madelaine that she was doing a great job and to keep pushing. So, dads, if you feel helpless…don’t worry it’s natural. We have the easy job haha.
Q: What’s something that surprised you when you became a dad?
A: Something that surprised me was how you can fall in love with something so quickly. It’s amazing what feelings you develop as soon as you hold your little one.
Q: What’s something that made you nervous or scared you about becoming a dad?
A: One thing that scared me or made me nervous about becoming a dad was failure. I wanted and still want to provide the world to our son Maverick. I have another human being I am responsible for now and don’t want to mess that up. I was fortunate to have had a great childhood and a lot of experiences and I want Maverick to be able to experience that and more! Also being the best role model and father figure. I just hope I do everything I can do be that for our son.
Q: What’s something you did that helped Madelaine during the first few days, weeks and first month of being parents?
A: During the first few days, weeks, and month of being parents, something I did and have continued to do is just be the best supporter I can possibly be for Madelaine. This is a new experience for the both of us, especially her and if I could make life easier for her then that’s what I wanted to do and have tried to continue to do. I would help cook meals during the early weeks while she took care of Maverick so it was one less thing she felt like she needed to do. Fold laundry, and vacuum to name a few other things. As Maverick began to feed more and more, he started to drink bottles on top of breast feeding, so during the night I would rotate off and on with Madelaine, so she was still getting rest. During the days, I would make sure she had time to take care of herself (shower, rest, get outside for fresh air or alone time).
Q: What advice would you give to new dads?
A: My piece of advice to new dads is support your wife/partner. Reassure them during this wild new experience that you are both going through. Realize that things have changed and it’s not always about you anymore at least for the first couple of weeks. Don’t take things personally because our partners/wives are truly going through a lot of things mentally, emotionally, and physically. You may feel helpless the first couple of weeks, but make sure you check in on them and make sure they are truly doing okay. See if there is anything you can do on your end to help them out.
On the flipside, don’t be afraid to still spend time with your boys (within reason) or whatever makes you happy. We need our alone time too fellas! Just because you’re a dad now doesn’t mean everything has to change completely. Lastly, always set the example and be the best role model you can be! Let all the outside bullshit, be bullshit. Nothing else matters when you’re with your little one and with your family, so don’t take the time for granted because it truly does fly by. Being a parent isn’t easy by any means. There are going to be a lot of rough nights and days and there may be some self-doubt along the way, but you will make it through. You got this!