Real Women. Real Experiences. – Cassady F
Q: Tell me about yourself. Where are you from? How many kids to do you have?
A: I’m Cassidy - I’m 32 and I live in Fond du Lac with my husband Rayce and our 4 kids Cecilia (13), Teddy (9), Brooks (3), and Rose (5 months).
Q: How was your pregnancy? The good? The bad?
A: All four of my pregnancies went very well as far as my health and the health of the babies. I loved being pregnant with Cecilia. Teddy was also easy. Also, I loved being pampered. Rayce used to buy me cake and apple cider and rub my feet. It was the life! Brooks and Rose’s pregnancies were tougher but I blame that on age. With both I was so nauseous and terribly tired and also going through some personal emotional stuff. Delivery with my kids is a whole different story. I have a blood disease called Avon Willebrands disease which is a Factor 8 protein deficiency. Basically, I bleed out when I deliver. When I had Cecilia, I retained one lobe of my placenta which I eventually delivered at home. I was 19 and so scared! I thought I was losing my vagina, to be frank. Because of that, there was scar tissue left inside my uterus. During delivery I was treated for my blood disease, though, so the bleeding was minimal.
When I delivered Teddy, everything went smoothly and I decided to dry and encapsulate my placenta to ingest in the months following my delivery. I wouldn’t recommend this, as it did nothing for me, but because that was my plan, my doctor tried her best to retrieve that pesky lobe of placenta and eventually tore my uterus, causing massive hemorrhage. I bled for several hours before they decided to rush me to emergency surgery to stop the bleeding and extra the placenta. I spent a week in the hospital, barely conscious. I received 7 blood transfusions which equaled about half my body’s blood supply. I became a nationwide study in protocol for Von Willebrands patients. After I got pregnant with Brooks, I worked closely with doctors to make sure there would be no accidents, and subsequently, there were none. Although my doctor did tell me it would behoove me to be finished having children, as I did hemorrhage a tiny bit more than the usual person. But then came Rose…whoops! She was an accident but a blessing and because of the preparation we all did during pregnancy, delivery was a breeze and so calm. NO blood loss. Absolutely a miracle and a beautiful way to end my era of birthing children.
Q: Describe your postpartum experience. Did you experience postpartum depression? Postpartum anxiety? Postpartum rage? Were you aware of these things postpartum?
A: After my first three children I suffered post-partum anxiety and rage. It was awful and I felt like a failure of a mother. What kind of mother yells this much? I hated myself. I also had gained weight which I was NOT used to at all. After I had Teddy and Brooks, I was full of self-loathing and sadness and rage and impatience. I was aware of the situation I was in and sought therapy. That helped. I went on medication and I didn’t enjoy the way I felt. I decided to look at my diet and supplements and I got back in to the gym. I still have anxiety but I have tools now to deal with times that I feel out of control.
Q: Did you breastfeed? If so, how did that go for you? If it was challenging, what were your challenges?
A: I breastfed Cecilia for four months and gave up because I just didn’t want to do it anymore. I had just turned 20, was in a toxic relationship with her father, and unfortunately did not have the emotional intelligence or capacity to put her needs above my own. 4 years later when I had Teddy, I dedicated myself my breastfeeding. I was able to breastfeed him easily for 1 year, 9 months. I loved it and felt so accomplished. I was also able to store an entire chest freezer full to the brim of breast milk! 6 years later I had Brooks and I was not fully committed to nursing but I did it anyway. I did not pump at all though. My heart just wasn’t in it, but regardless, I nursed him for 2 ½ years. I am currently breastfeeding Rose and pumping and I love it. She is so natural and I’m savoring the experience as she is my last child.
Q: Did you have any pregnancy cravings?
A: I craved DQ blizzards and McChickens with Cecilia, wedding cake and apple cider with Teddy, nothing with Brooks because I was just sick the whole time, and Coca-Cola and candy or anything sweet with Rose! 5 months later, I am STILL fighting the sugar addiction I developed with her!
Q: What’s something you never knew about until you were pregnant?
A: It isn’t that I didn’t know, but I guess I didn’t realize the reality of my bones literally spreading apart. And how they never went back to the original position! My hips never recovered. Neither did my boobs. It is depressing sometimes but most the time I’m just happy I could have children at all.
Q: What was something that surprised you about your postpartum journey?
A: The hormones fluctuating causing my emotions to be off the chain. I was generally an even tempered person and after I had kids, the anxiety and rage were so strong it was shocking and heartbreaking.
Q: If there was a gift to give a new mom, what would it be?
This is hard! If we are talking material items, I would say the Doona stroller, Swaddle Me swaddles, Dock-a-Tot, and Little Unicorn blankets.
Q: If you could give a new mom some advice what would it be?
A: Trust your instincts. You know in your heart what is best. Even in the moment you doubt yourself, whatever your first instinct is, is most likely the right thing to do. And kids don’t need DisneyLand to make their life a happy one. They just need your love and attention. Quality time with you is the best gift you can give your babies. Also, HALF the shit the world makes you believe you need to succeed in motherhood is FALSE. You do not need it. Scientific research says children become overwhelmed with too many toys and clutter, so keep it simple. Your bank account and your sanity will thank you.