Real Women. Real Experiences. – Val P

Q: Tell me about yourself. Where are you from? How many kids do you have?

A: My name is Val and I am from Fond du Lac, Wisconsin and I have 3 children (now ages 12, 11, and 8).

Q: How was your pregnancy? The good? The bad?

A: I saw a nurse midwife in a hospital for all 3 pregnancies. My first pregnancy was picture perfect. No issues at all and had him exactly on my due date. My second pregnancy I started bleeding at 19 weeks and thought I was having a miscarriage. When we went to the clinic, they could not find a heartbeat with the heart monitor, so I was sent to ultrasound. At the ultrasound, they were able to see that she was actually doing great. However, at this time, they diagnosed me with placenta previa and was told I could no longer see the midwives since this was now a more complicated pregnancy. I made an appointment to see a Gynecologist in 4 weeks. The bleeding continued for a few days but then stopped. At 23 weeks, I started having contractions. I called the midwife on call since I hadn’t actually seen a gynecologist yet, and she told me it was probably Braxton Hicks and I should drink lots of water and take a bath. I did both and the contractions stopped. The next day, things were fine until around 8:00 pm. I started having stronger contractions and bleeding. This time I called the gynecologist on call and he told me to get to the hospital. At this point I had a 17 month old at home so my husband stayed with him while I drove myself to the hospital 30 minutes away. When I got there, they never checked me but gave me a little white pill and told me that was going to stop the contractions but said I was being transferred to a hospital an hour away that had a NICU just in case she came early. I was taken by ambulance and my husband met us there. The contractions never stopped. They performed a bedside ultrasound when I arrived and told me my placenta had abrupted and it was detached from the uterine wall and that I was going to be giving birth that night. 

My third pregnancy went well but given my history of having a premature baby, I had to get progesterone injections every week from 16 weeks to 36 weeks to keep my uterus calm. I was able to see my midwife again but also had to see a perinatologist and have an ultrasound every other week. Even with the extra appointments and precautions, this pregnancy was very similar to my first and was relatively easy. 

Q: How was your labor and delivery? Did you birth at home? Hospital? C-section?

A: My first birth was again, very text book. I labored at home until the contractions were about 5 minutes apart and by the time I got to the hospital I was 6cm dilated. My water never broke for any of my pregnancies. I did get an epidural and had a vaginal delivery. He did swallow meconium as he was coming out so he had to spend the night in the special care nursery to be monitored but he ended up being very healthy.

With my second delivery, after we found out I was going to be having her that night, there were 13 medical professionals in my room within minutes. There was a Neonatologist that sat at my bedside and went over all the risks of having a premature baby and told us since she was only 23 weeks and viability was 24 weeks, we had the option to do nothing and let her pass or let them try to save her. We undoubtedly agreed that even with all the risks (a 10% chance of survival and a 50% chance of having a severe disability physically and/or cognitively) she needed to be given a chance. I didn’t have enough time to get any pain meds and she was breech but with everything happening so fast and her being so little, they thought I would still be able to deliver her vaginally. She came out in 2 pushes, feet first but still inside her amniotic sac. They had to break the sac open to get her out. She had no heartbeat, so they had to resuscitate her. Within a minute or two they got her heart beating again and rushed her off into the NICU. She was 1lb 5oz, her eyes were still fused shut, and her skin was bright pink and transparent but, she was alive. 

My third delivery was relatively easy and the progesterone injections worked very well. I was 40 weeks and 1 day but I tested positive for Group B Strep, so my midwife thought I should be induced so I could get the full rounds of antibiotics needed so I didn’t pass it along to the baby. I chose to not have any pain killers so that delivery was not as enjoyable as my first and being induced was much more painful.  However, it went a little faster and I was able to deliver her vaginally and she was completely healthy. 

Q: Describe your postpartum experience. Did you experience postpartum depression? Postpartum anxiety? Postpartum rage? Were you aware of these things postpartum?

A: I did not have any postpartum issues with my first. I did go through some depression with my second mostly because of the situation. She spent 4 months in the hospital over an hour away and having to drive everyday and splitting the time between my two children who both needed me in very different ways, was extremely difficult. 

I did not have any issues after my third pregnancy. 

Q: Did you breastfeed? If so, how did that go for you? If it was challenging, what were your challenges? 

A: I attempted to breastfeed my first but I was not a big milk producer and he was Colic and would not latch so I gave up after 6 weeks. 

With my second, I pumped religiously every 2 hours (night and day) because I again wasn’t a big producer, but it worked out better for her since she wasn’t able to drink very much the first few months anyway. She would stop breathing while drinking so I was never able to nurse her since I had to be able to keep a close eye on her intake. I was able to pump enough to feed her for a full year though. I did breastfeed my third for 7 months but had to supplement with formula after about 3 months due to my low supply. 

Q: Did you have any pregnancy cravings?

A: My first was a boy and I craved everything sweet. The sweeter the better. My other two were girls and I don’t remember craving anything too crazy.

Q: What’s something you never knew about until you were pregnant?

A: Before I had a premie, I never knew anything about premature birth or what happens when you have a baby too early or anything about a NICU. So that was a completely new experience for me. 

Q: What was something that surprised you about your postpartum journey? 
A: Something that surprised me about my postpartum journey was how emotional I could get at any time. I would start crying at the most random moments. It was pretty embarrassing but luckily didn’t last too long. 

Q: If there was a gift to give a new mom, what would it be? 

A: The best gift to give a new mom is a break. Come and hold the baby so she can sleep for a few hours. Some moms don’t always like visitors so then diapers are always a welcomed gift. The thing I probably used the most was a bucket with a handle and a soft side that you can hold against their head when you wash their hair and the water and soap stay out of their eyes. I used that well into my kids being toddlers. 

Q: If you could give a new mom some advice what would it be?

A: The advice I always like to give new moms is that it’s okay to not love being a mom every second of every day and it doesn’t mean you love your child any less. Having a baby and taking care of a baby is one of the hardest jobs you will ever have. Social media tends to only show the glamorous side and people tend to only post about the good. It’s not always going to be good, but it never means that you are not a good mom. I also tell new moms to try and shower every day. It’s a simple thing that can just make you feel human again. Even if you have to bring that baby in the bathroom, they will be okay in a bassinet or bouncer or even laying on a towel on the floor for a few minutes.