Real Women. Real Experiences. – Elizabeth S
Q: Tell me about yourself. Where are you from? How many kids do you have?
A: My name is Elizabeth S. I am 30 years old, originally from Fond du Lac, WI but now in Sun Prairie, WI. My husband, Joe, and I have been married for 4 years and have 2 kids together, our son, Burke (2), and our daughter, Caroline (2 months).
Q: How was your pregnancy? The good? The bad?
A: I am thankful that both of my pregnancies were very healthy and normal. I found out I was pregnant with my son the week that the world essentially shut down due to COVID-19, which made my first pregnancy... interesting. I wasn't even seen by my doctor or given an ultrasound until I was 12 weeks along, which, of course made me anxious and nervous; the not knowing if everything was okay (and everything was, thankfully). Meanwhile, my first trimester was largely filled with morning sickness and overall shitty feeling... like I was hungover. After that first trimester things were very smooth sailing. I remember feeling some anxiousness and paranoia at the end of my pregnancy; wondering if I was keeping up on my kick counts and making sure everything was okay. I started measuring ahead around 37 weeks and had a growth ultrasound that suggested my son was over 8 pounds and in the 90th percentile for body and head size which led to an elective induction at 39 weeks. My pregnancy with my daughter was very healthy. I did not experience morning sickness with my daughter and was ecstatic about that because that was miserable. I became a stay at home mom around 18-20 weeks pregnant and so my son kept me very busy and active. I was hoping for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean section) with her and so I was very determined to go into labor on my own in order to increase the likelihood of that happening. Towards the end of my pregnancy with her I started to become very anxious about going into labor and it was difficult. Mentally and physically, the last 1-2 weeks of my pregnancy with her was difficult, mostly because I wanted so deeply to be able to experience a vaginal birth.
Q: How was your labor and delivery? Did you birth at home? Hospital? C-section?
A: As I said, I was induced with my son at 39 weeks. From the time I went in for my induction until my son was born it was about 40 hours and was completely exhausting mentally and physically. Long story short, my cervix started to swell at 7cm dilated and I stopped dilating at which point my medical team suggested a c-section. Thankfully, my son and I were always medically fine and healthy and nothing was an emergency. After such a long labor, I was so exhausted it was difficult to remain awake during my c-section, which made me very sad because I felt as though I wasn't entirely present during my son's birth and first few hours of life. There was joy during my labor and delivery, though. We waited to find out our son's sex until birth and that moment will live in my heart and mind forever. With my second birth, as I said, I was planning and hoping for a VBAC. I went into spontaneous labor at 40 weeks and 2 days, which was thrilling (and painful, lol). Things were progressing nicely and quickly until I reached 6 and then 7cm dilated. After that point my cervix, again, began to swell and I stopped dilating. My midwife has suggested that I may have a narrow pelvic arch and because my babies have larger heads, it was difficult for them to be delivered through my pelvis and thus vaginally. I was very sad and disappointed that I was headed to another c-section, although thankful that, again, nothing was emergent. Although I didn't labor for quite as long as my previous delivery, I was still quite exhausted and again experienced being very tired during and after my c-section with my daughter. The medical staff were extremely supportive and really nice during my entire labor and delivery and they were happy to make any possible accommodations during my c-section that they could to make it a positive experience. Again, we did not find out our daughter's sex before her birth and the moment we found out we had a daughter was unforgettable. I do not regret attempting my VBAC. It was difficult and exhausting, but I do not regret trying. Actually, it brings me some closure and acceptance. I feel like I did my very best to try and have the birth experience that I wanted and there are things outside of my control. All of that said, I did have to grieve the birth that I wanted but did not get to experience and that is okay.
Q: Describe your postpartum experience. Did you experience postpartum depression? Postpartum anxiety? Postpartum rage? Were you aware of these things postpartum?
A: My postpartum period with my son was filled with a lot of anxiety, although I was never seen for it by a professional or diagnosed with anything. I think a lot of the anxiety was natural; that first time mom anxiety of bringing home a tiny human and being responsible for them. More was fueled by some baby blues and jaundice, requiring my son to use a bili-blanket for treatment. I felt like I wasn't doing enough to keep him well. Then, around 6 weeks postpartum, my son's doctor called and notified us that his thyroid function tests on the newborn screen were abnormal and he required further testing. All-in-all, he was diagnosed with congenital hypothyroidism, which terrified me after I googled it and discovered that left untreated he could experience physical and mental delays in his development. He began treatment and has been extremely healthy ever since. The first few months postpartum with my son was also a bit lonely. It was soon winter and also still in the middle of a pandemic so we did not see family or friends or even leave the house very much. My husband returned to work after a week or 2 home with me. At the time, he worked an hour away, so often he was gone for 11, almost 12 hours a day. Overall, there were some difficult times as this was a large adjustment, becoming a new mom and navigating that, but it wasn't a huge struggle for me personally, largely because my son was a very easy going baby who ate well and slept well from the beginning. My experience postpartum this time around, with my daughter, has been largely the same as far as having an easy going, happy baby who (thankfully) sleeps very well. It is different, however, in that I have experienced so much less anxiety. Being a second time mom I have the confidence that a first time mom doesn't. Also, my husband is lucky enough to work at a company that provides 12 weeks of paid paternity leave. So, he has been with me everyday since Caroline was born. Which is unbelievable and I am so thankful for.
Q: Did you breastfeed? If so, how did that go for you? If it was challenging, what were your challenges?
A: I breastfed my son for 13 months and was lucky enough to have a wonderful breastfeeding experience with him. There is a huge learning curve in the beginning, but after the first couple of weeks it was extremely smooth sailing for us. I know it is not that way for everyone, so I am very thankful we had a smooth breastfeeding experience. I am 8 weeks postpartum with my daughter and breastfeeding with her so far has been even more smooth as I carried all of the knowledge I had from my experience with my son into this journey.
Q: Did you have any pregnancy cravings?
A: When I was pregnant with my son I craved sweets hardcore. My most memorable and significant craving was blueberry pancakes and sweet breakfast items in general (donuts, french toast, waffles, pastries, etc.). I didn't have any really strong cravings with my daughter. Nothing super memorable, the cravings more came and left when I was pregnant with her; for example, one morning I craved orange juice but the craving left soon after.
Q: What’s something you never knew about until you were pregnant?
A: I think one thing that I didnt know or was naive to was how the labor and delivery process is not so linear and how impactful and important it is to have a birth plan (including plans B and C and realize that they can happen). I read and prepared myself as much as possible for a vaginal birth, the "typical" birth, not thinking that I would have difficulty doing that. I completely skipped over the section in my books on c-sections. I just assumed that things would go smoothly for me.
Q: What was something that surprised you about your postpartum journey?
A: I think one thing that surprised me from my postpartum journey is how truly quickly it goes by. The cliche saying is true -- the nights are long but the years are short. You learn and adapt as a new mom so incredibly quickly and prove to yourself just how strong you are.
Q: If there was a gift to give a new mom, what would it be?
A: Time away from baby. I think that time away from baby (when they are comfortable) is so important for a mom; it was to me. Whether that's just time to go get a mani/pedi, shop, or if it's a night or weekend away to reconnect with friends or your husband/partner. I truly think that time away makes me a better mom and wife/partner.
Q: If you could give a new mom some advice what would it be?
A: You are exactly the mom your baby needs. You are not perfect, and you will probably question everything in motherhood, but you are their entire world and you're exactly what they need.